What "being awesome" might be discussion - stolen and restating this from a '17 post

Posted this in '17 What it means to be awesome - according to a hackerspace in LA
but I think its worth a reread-consideration-reframing

Straight found this when I was looking at a place called Crash in LA http://blog.crashspace.org/about/code-of-conduct/

What it Means to Be Awesome:

  • We treat others as they would like to be treated, acting from an assumption of mutual respect and good will.
  • We clarify misunderstandings, apologize for harm caused, and assume ignorance before malice.
  • We offer our sincere help and support to those who request it. We remember what it’s like to be a beginner, and therefore offer the kind of help that benefits the learner, not our egos.
  • We allow others to speak without interruption, and resist the urge to “Well, actually…”
  • We encourage a diverse technical community where each person is welcome to choose their own tools, programming languages and techniques without fear of insult or judgement.
  • We welcome and encourage diversity, and work diligently to keep subtle -isms out of our communication with each other.
  • We work to create an environment free of microagressions, which can be detrimental to the growth of diversity in our space.
  • We ask permission from others. We accept “no”s without arguing, and say “yes” when we mean yes.
  • We stand up and watch out for each other. Maintaining a respectful and safe community is everybody’s responsibility.
  • Remember: We all make mistakes. If you get called out on something: apologize, learn from it, and be better next time. That is the awesome thing to do.
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This should be read at the beginning and end of every board meeting.

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I’ve printed them out and put them in the hallway on the clipboards that I had up for the silent auction. I asked people to fill out a post-it and leave it up defining what they think “being awesome” is. Just felt it would be interesting and it was a perfect number of clipboards so why not.

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This current post, not ops, but this one is an example of a microaggression … but it represents the opinion of several people in leadership positions at the space …

This also will be posted … but not by me

I prefer macroagressions …

Overall I think the list was a good one …

I’ve read the list. Try as I might I have to say “sorry that’s not me”. To quote Popeye- “I am what I yam”

I’m with Nick Silva.

This list of being awesome as quoted is horse puckey.

Not all items mind you. Happy to follow the golden rule and be respectful, situations warranting. Beyond that not buying the virtue signaling.

I can understand how the list can seem like you have to tread on thin ice because something you grew up with as commonplace has now been declared to be an “issue” for someone and it has nothing to do with the intent you have. Trouble is we all have buttons …possibly from being “assigned” a category because of our age (too old/too young to understand, etc.), our looks (yeah I don’t need to give examples), our faith, our origin, our vocabulary, … yep, those buttons.

Rather than look at the list for limitations that shouldn’t be imposed upon you … look at the list to see if someone treating you in that manner would be objectionable. My prediction is that no one would object to RECEIVING that kind of treatment. So if receiving it is OK, then just try to be mindful that other folks wouldn’t mind receiving same from you. It’s really not all that hard.

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Guys, guys. I’m no fan of PC-speak, and I think microagressions and all the various isms, phobes, and whatever are words invented to bully people of differing political beliefs, and to silence debate.

But.

Having gotten to know Nicole over the years, I can say unequivically: She is not only a lady (and by lady I mean a woman of refinement, manners, and dignity), but the sort of person whose whirlwind of activity frequently produces sustained genuine happiness, camaraderie, and good times in its’ wake. And so far as I can see, that spirit is intrinsic to her nature, and her world view.

And she has given a great deal to DMS as well. She can say anything she damned well pleases, and it’s Ok by me. I accept her definition, and decline to substitute my own. Respect.

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I think my viewpoint is misunderstood. I have no issue with Nicole. I only have issue with the list being held up as a standard that we should follow.

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My main focus was the 4th bullet point…especially after a recent Board meeting I watched.

And the 2nd & 3rd part of the 2nd bullet item after a recent Board meeting…