Chuck Norris jokes

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I head that a Cobra bit Chuck Norris. After about a week of agonizing pain and suffering the Cobra died.

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Chuck Norris Cigar lighter

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From a bathroom wall at a Dallas restaurant: Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s Secret.

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Chuck Norris reading Chuck Norris facts.

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Chuck Norris can rub two pieces of ice together and start a fire.

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Chuck Norris has a large black bear on display in his rec room.

The bear isn’t dead, it’s just afraid to move.

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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.

Chuck Norris farted twice when he was a baby. Then Japan surrendered .

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Jack was nimble. Jack was quick but Jack still couldn’t dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.

Whenever Chuck Norris listens to a song on iTunes, Apple pays him $0.99.

Chuck Norris doesn’t know how to swim. Water just wants to be around him.

The boogieman checks for Chick Norris under his bed.

Chuck Norris has left the chat. In a coma.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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