Hello Everyone,
I was talking with some friends about the worst jobs they’ve ever had and I found many of the responses to be simultaneously hilarious and sad. As an icebreaker activity, I figured that it would be nice to give everyone a space to complain about that ONE job. You know the one. It’s that job where all of your youthful idealism and enthusiasm went down the drain. My worst job wasn’t as bad as many others, but I still look back on it as my primary motivation for getting my life together. I absolutely never wanted to have a job like it for that little pay ever again. Some of you may look at this and go “ah, that’s nothing. Let me tell you about a real shit job.” You’re probably right and I definitely want to hear about it.My worst job was hands down the first one I ever had. At this age, I wasn’t mature enough to know that it’s okay to quit a bad job, so I stuck through entire thing.
So I’ll begin with mine:
Scientists mistakenly tell us that all children come out of women during birth. I’m about to let y’all in on a little secret. This is not necessarily the case for all children. When the rivers of Corrax run red and the influence of the old gods are at their strongest during the blood moons, fetuses can become infused with unstable, negative spiritual energies that turn them into hellspawn. It’s not a particularly uncommon phenomenon, but the reason you’ve never heard of it is because there is a secret union of bougie upper/upper-middle class parents that cover up the existence of this sentient species.
These hellspawn are usually kept hidden from society, only allowed to interact with their fellow humans during school hours and juvie. In the early-20th century, the government started a project whereby hellspawn would be put under the care of expendable, minimum wage laborers in their teens at facilities across the country. These facilities were named… “summer camps”. The especially worrisome elements were sent to maximum security facilities dubbed… “bible camps”. In order to keep up the appearance of normalcy, every cohort of hellspawn would be mixed in with normal human children.
Each laborer was equipped with the legal maximum number of kids they could oversee: eleven. Each 17-19 year old would, with no parenting/overseeing experience, have to oversee eleven children and try their best to ensure that they wouldn’t try to escape into the woods or get attacked by hellspawn. They would be forced to oversee these children 24/7 for 3 months during summer time. They got a break day once every two weeks. Did I say they were payed minimum wage? Forgive me, I was unclear. What I meant to say is that they were payed minimum wage for part-time work, while actually working practically 24/7 for 3 months.
Sleep deprivation, mental exhaustion, and physical exhaustion would eventually wear these people down until they made that ONE big mistake that their supervisor would forever remember. The supervisor would rebuke them and call them immature, but they wouldn’t care because they were so sleep deprived that they didn’t have the mental energy to have emotions by that point. However, you would still feel the eyes of the supervisor on you for the remainder of your tour because they had lost their trust in you for forgetting a bag at lunch even though you’ve done a stellar job until then.
The only thing keeping these laborers from totally losing their minds (some of them still lost their minds) were the strong bonds they would forge in this adversity and the large number of booze that would be consumed on their day off. Laborers were not allowed to have or use cellphones (you were given radios), so you also felt disconnected from the rest of the world.
Now is the time for me to talk about another humanoid type that is often kept hidden from society: the Karen. Karens are fully-evolved hellspawn that are incapable of comprehending their children’s imperfections because they cannot differentiate between their child’s mistakes and their own and if there is one thing we do know, it is that Karen can never be wrong (not trying to hate on people named Karen. I actually got this term from a police officer’s youtube channel. Apparently, it is common for them to call people who ‘want to speak to their supervisor’ as “Karens”).
In fact, it was the teenage laborer’s fault that their hellspawn tried to bash another hellspawn’s head in with a frozen lunchbox cooler thing. If he was any good at his job, he would’ve been able sense the 1 AM attack with the force and then use his supernatural powers to prevent any violence from occurring between the spawnlings.
It is important to understand that one can only survive an encounter with a Karen if they are properly trained. Experts agree that you should never be curt and make every attempt to apologize and take responsibility in order to calm down the Karen. You may only snap at one when you finally break down and decide that your paychecks are no longer worth it.
There is so much more I could talk about, but I think this is enough.
What are y’alls worst jobs?