So long, farewell and unsolicited advice

DMS General
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This is my two cents before I leave:

Before the pandemic, I enjoyed coming to the DMS and hanging out with the Fiber folk. Most of that was due to the awesomeness of Jeannie Harwell, but along the way I met others that I really enjoyed. I learned a lot and made some new friends. However, I think that the DMS is no longer the place for me. There are many, many wonderful people here. Many people who will help. But in my opinion, the DMS is dysfunctional as an organization. Not nonfunctional, but definitely dysfunctional to a degree that I think will continue to be a problem. Having been a pastor for 25 years or so, I have a fair amount of training and practical experience in the psychology of organizations. In my experience, you can ban the ā€œtroublemakersā€ all you want, but until you address the fundamental dysfunction, trouble will keep cropping up. Itā€™s like scapegoating in families - once the original scapegoat is gone, the process starts all over again with someone new. There is anxiety among the membership that will move from person to person until healthy ways are found to deal with it. My suggestion would be that the DMS invest in some outside conflict management professionals. I doubt this suggestion will be taken, but that would be my recommendation.

I am not voting in the election, either on the candidates or the amendments. (I could say a lot about the deficiencies in the by-laws, but that would take a whole nuther post.) I am not voting because I am giving up my membership and donā€™t feel that someone who isnā€™t going to continue to be a member should have a say in how things are run. I am thankful to all who have helped me learn and to those who just want to keep a good thing going. I hope and pray you will succeed. I just canā€™t be a part of something that I believe to be unhealthy. Once again, there are many, many wonderful people at DMS and probably everyone involved is a good person, but as a group, I donā€™t think DMS is healthy. Hopefully you will all prove me wrong - I love to be wrong about things like this.

Blessings to you all. If you want to respond to me, I am on Facebook. I obviously wonā€™t be on Talk anymore.

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Iā€™m sorry, I canā€™t respond to you on Facebook as I left the platform because itā€™s too toxic.

Thank you for your feedback, itā€™s nice to hear why/how weā€™re losing people, and get their honest feedback on why they think things are going poorly.

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K. :blankspace:

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what is K. plus 10 characters?

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The forum software has a minimum response size so she padded it to post.

EDIT: And FWIW, now sheā€™s replaced that extra bit with blankspace emoji, which has the same effect.

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U.
:blankspace:

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Ok, what is the solution though?
Speaking up more, using the flags?

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She mentioned outside conflict management professionals. Probably the way problems are approached and addressed mostly. Like how to have a conversation so that the other side feels heard, without stirring up a bunch of hurt feelings. Working to better see the side of the others, and coming up with compromises. If i was to guess, it would be something like that. Probably more complex for a larger more diverse organization.

Our nationals in my college sorority had people that worked with the chapter leadership and whole chapters.

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She did suggest ā€˜investing in some outside conflict management professionalsā€™, while I donā€™t know enough about those types of services to know if itā€™d do us any good, itā€™s at least a suggestion instead of another rant about how we need to fix our group dynamics.

Edit: damn thatā€™s twice today.

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I believe those would be conflict mediators. Thereā€™s different forms of it, from volunteer groups to paid. Got surface level trained in it before deciding it just took up too much time.

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ā€œSo long, farewell, unsolicited adviceā€ - scans.

Might need to stop hanging around with filkersā€¦

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Martha, thanks we will take your concerns/comments as advisement on how we can do better. Thanks for being a member of DMS for a good while. I hope you will find DMS and agreeable place to socialize and work on group projects again in the future.

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