Here is a couple:
-’ Every Day thousands of Innocent Plants are killed by vegetarians…
Help end the violence … Eat More Bacon"
- “Youth And Talent Are No Match For Age And Treachery”
One more:
- “F*%K IT - My Final Thought Before Making Most Decisions”
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My favorite has and always will be:
“Hold my beer…”
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“Don’t worry, I know what I am doing…”
“I’m from the government, I’m here to help.”
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I don’t like to brag, but I have the heart of a lion (and a lifetime ban from the zoo).
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Socrates last Words: “I drank what.”
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“Yeah now that you mention it, that dress does make you look fat.”
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There were a hell of a lot of things they didn’t tell me when I hired on to this outfit.
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F#%k em all but six and save them for pallbearers.
Jeff
“Hey, Bubba watch this!” right before…
“Put your seat belt on, I wanna try something.”
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I tell my passengers “Belt yourself”.
As I start the car moving, I say “Now cinch it”.
To late to escape…
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You want how much?!? I’ll just do it myself…
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I wasn’t asking for advice, I was just asking if (tool) could do (task).
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When in doubt, go flat out.
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I am a second hand Vegetarian. Cows eat grass…I eat Cow.
I’m only doing this because my wife said I had to.
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“Do NOT argue with an idiot. He/She will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience”
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Build a tool that does Big to little endian conversion errors
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Based on a true story:
Client: Lets build a website that has millions of users who can like each other and add thier friends
Me: So a social network site?
Client: No, its going to have pages created by the users so they can get fans and share photos and video
Me: so myspace
Client: No, not myspace its going to have ads and a wall that people can see all the time that they can message each other on
Me: so facebook.
Client: I don’t think your understanding. Our users are here for dating. The project name is, oklahomaswingers dot com
Me: Ok. My usual rate for Dating sites is $150/hr. and depending on features usually take about 120hrs to develop into a full product.
Client: Could you do it for $50 and we’ll give you a free account on the site.
have fun with that one.
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I used to own a software company that I co-founded. We sold websites and analytics (java based) attached to data warehouses. I had customers like, AT&T, MCI, Physicians Data and Genentech but your scenario made me laugh because it used to happen to us often, especially with our smaller accounts. It was fun to hear some of their crazy ideas though.
Thanks for relating the story.
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It’s very hard to make something idiot proof…as idiots are so damned ingenious!
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